How is it possible to be so utterly confused about something so obvious? I can see what I want, but I can't all at once. I want too much. I feel like I am living in my very own version of 'dawson's creek' (*gag*). No one knows what the others are thinking, and some don't even know there is a problem. Why do I want to end something I love so much? I am changing so fast and ridding my self of waste and meaninglessness. And though I find meaning I find meaning in something where there is more when there is less (I am not going to explain that take it for what you want).

I am living moment to moment,  and I can't decide whether I like it or not, or even if I am or not. Why am I running away from my old self, while I am returning to it also. My mind is cluttered, and I find myself longing for the past and wanting it to be different also. But am I being hasty? Am I making decisions too quickly? It's getting harder and harder to find meaning in something's while easier with others. Things are just too strange.